The birth
of a new baby, especially a first baby is preoccupying, so much so that
it is easy to overlook what is actually going to happen. That a child
will be in your arms and they will be yours. We tend to think that
preparing for a baby is about buying cots and carseats, painting a
nursery. But what about preparing for the moment you meet? For how you
are going to feel? Given the shock of the baby's move from womb to
world, how would you like their first experience of the world to be?
What about
breastfeeding? Studies show the benefits are colossal. Not so much that
breast is best, but that bottle is worse. And yet the majority of women
say ‘well if I can do it, then yes. If I can’t then I won’t,’ as if
nature would be selective about such a thing, award only some the
ability to nourish their newborn. The truth is almost all new mothers
are able to breastfeed comfortably and confidently - WHEN THEY GET THE
RIGHT SUPPORT, RIGHT AT THE START.
Everybody
knows the impact a new baby will have on your life. And almost all
babycare books are bursting with advice on ways to limit that impact.
How to establish routines, ways to encourage mother and baby to
separate. Those first weeks and months as a parent are
tiring, unsettling and disorienting and it’s no surprise that many of
us jump on that advice, wanting to feel confident again, to reclaim
some control. But birth is the most vulnerable experience of our life.
A newborn infant is bombarded with impressions and needs reassurance,
continuity of contact, and a world that is responsive to him in order
that he can bond and establish proper attachment.
‘The baby
is very sensitive and knowing. He is going through various experiences
that are lying down some of the basic automatic emotional patterns of
the personality.’ (English and Pearson, The Emotional Problems of
Living).
How would
it be if we saw a baby’s early life through this lens? Instead of
handling that takes the form of a one-way conversation, were we are
doing all the talking, we might consider the baby’s viewpoint. How it
is for them. ‘We need to see a baby’s entry into the
world in a new way - as an invitation to the greatest intimacy life can
afford us. ’ (Joseph Chilton-Pearce, psychologist and childcare expert)
I now offer
a one-day workshop covering the subjects raised above: the ‘welcome’;
what your newborn needs; the early weeks and what to expect;
breastfeeding; sleep; carrying and contact; becoming a parent.